TODD KERNS

TODD KERNS - “Some People Just Want To Be Famous; I Don’t Really Understand That”


By Aaron Small

Canada’s own TODD KERNS - best known as the bassist for original GUNS N’ ROSES and VELVET REVOLVER guitarist SLASH, as well as the frontman for Las Vegas’ SIN CITY SINNERS – has released an unplugged, acoustic solo album titled Borrowing Trouble. The intimate 12-track affair came to life via his Dammit Pledge Music Campaign.



“It happened so fast, even though we’re still dealing with the actual mailing out of proper CDs. It feels like we were just talking about it, and now all of a sudden it’s here. For me when I’m planning a project - this will be fun and easy and cool. Then you realize that the actual work is called work for a reason; especially this packaging and shipping stuff. It’s weird not having an HMV to deal with, or whatever your local record store is. It’s become such a different animal. It’s really the first time I’ve ever released anything personally, without that sort of support. Even with The Sinners when we recorded, we were playing around Vegas all the time with people coming and going; let’s have some product available at shows, and of course online. Then when you start talking about how far-reaching this project was, with people from South America, Australia, and Japan all pledging, it’s really interesting – the releasing of music into the ether essentially. It’s exciting to me ‘cause it’s never been about… I have a car; I’ve got a place with my bed and television in it. To me, that’s success unto itself; it’s enough for me. All that other stuff… it’s always awesome if something happens and a song gets picked up into a movie and your life turns into this whole other thing. But at the same time, I’ve always been perfectly happy with making music and the ends get met. It isn’t an over-achieving thing as much as it is a constant challenging of oneself to do better than you’ve already done. For this project particularly, as personal as it is, it was more from a song-writing standpoint, a connecting standpoint. There’s a certain amount of planning and logic that goes into trying to write and create hit songs, as opposed to the BOB DYLANs and NEIL YOUNGs of the world that inspired Borrowing Trouble.”

Congratulations are definitely in order as Todd achieved 248% of his Pledge Music goal. “Honestly, there was a certain amount of, I wouldn’t say pressure, but maybe you should get out there and do a little flag waving to drum up some more. You know what dude? We reached 100% in 24 hours. I feel like all the flag waving and chest pumping is over. Everything after that was just gravy to me, but every dime of it went into the recording, the manufacturing, and the shipping. A lot of people don’t really understand. Some people think I went out and got a big humidor for my cigars; no. It’s the same with GINGER WILDHEART when he did his, 505% of his goal. He told me he was so anal about making sure the product itself was going to get the most amount of attention from that money raised. I felt the same way; this was not about paying bills or patching up holes. I wanted it to be as good as it could be. Even though the process of recording the album – because it’s just me and an acoustic guitar, with a little instrumentation here and there – may not have been the most grandiose, you still want to make sure it’s the best it can be. It was a money making venture, but the money made was going first of all towards a charity, and second towards making a product to make sure everybody’s getting their money worth.”

The aforementioned charity is The Muscular Dystrophy Association. “For me, Muscular Dystrophy is one of those things that, there’s so many things, but part of Pledge’s stipulation is that a percentage of money goes to a charity. That was the clincher for me! I was always dancing around the subject; my friend Greg (Verdusco) was a huge kick in the ass. When I finally started to peel away the layers of what this means, I couldn’t think of a reason not to do it. My dear friend Karen Wheeler, who actually has a painting of hers within the artwork, this is a woman who is completely immobilized. It’s one of those continuing inspiring things when you wake up and you’re having a crappy day ‘cause the coffee maker doesn’t work, the cable’s out and Wifi’s slow. You see somebody like her, and her day to day life is a challenge. Yet she’s able to sit down and create something against all odds, it’s another kick in the ass to make you want to do something. That was a big part of it for me, was her. And as we went into the project, Greg’s illness became – it was always serious, but we just saw a young man hit with something that would just be a bump in the road. After the fact, to be hit so personally, and for the record itself to be so inspired by what he was going through, I felt we probably should have done something towards Cancer. Every one of these things needs the attention.”



Delving into some of the songs that comprise Borrowing Trouble, album opener ‘Nothing Personal’ details the very harsh realities of people who head to Hollywood hoping to make it. Whether they want to me a movie star or a rock star, this track exposes the truth of what actually happens. “You have to look at the stats of, for every successful person, how many have fallen by the wayside? I don’t look on that as some sort of bleak tale. To me, to go for it and take that step outside of khaki pants and a fucking cubicle, then great! I’ve been around people in pornography and in the shadiest of shady – at least shady by the standards of a regular society, and I don’t really have anything negative to comment on. People treat reality television and people getting famous for no reason at all as some sort of new phenomenon; it’s a higher percentage of that, but it’s always been around. There’s a certain amount of people out there who just want to be famous; it isn’t about having a passion for a certain skill, or being an actor or musician or athlete and taking it as far as you can. Some people just want to be famous; I don’t really understand that. Of course, when you play music, if you have the audacity to put yourself down on tape, be it in digital form or otherwise, and release it to the world, you’re lending yourself to that anyway. The very fact of stepping on an elevated section of a room to play for people, is immediately seeking out the approval of people around you. With ‘Nothing Personal’, the song is sort of about that to some degree, but I know a lot of people who are very talented, or at least had a passion to be an actor and it didn’t work out; they may not have ended up in pornography as the song tells. There’s usually more involved than it didn’t work out, so I became this. You get caught up in some other scene, whatever sort of recreational pharmaceuticals, and get spit out the other side of it. The road to success is littered with the broken dreams of everybody else who tried to get there. But I wouldn’t for a second tell someone not to pursue it, Hollywood is the setting in that song, only because whether you’re from Bulgaria or Saskatchewan, that’s where you want to go, that’s where it is. You go to that town and there’s the pinnacle of what you could achieve, and there’s the depth of what you can lose. But that’s part of what happens when you decide to be an outlaw and live on the outskirts of khakis and a cubicle.”

Including a cover song on Borrowing Trouble was unexpected, much less one by DANIEL LANOIS, namely ‘The Maker’. “I suppose it’s part of our DNA being Canadian, Daniel Lanois is a universally renowned producer (U2, PETER GABRIEL), and that song, other guys have done it – I believe DAVE MATTHEWS or perhaps WILLIE NELSON; I’ve heard it busted out now and then. When I started doing acoustic shows, in ’99 or something like that - which is a big part of this entire project – it was a very freeing moment; and still kind of scary at the same time. It became interesting to me to not only boil my own songs down - AGE OF ELECTRIC or whatever - to just a guitar and vocal, it became fun to take a look at other songs and peeling away those layers of instrumentation. The strength of a song when it’s just a voice and a guitar, the lyrics are so… you’re hearing every word sung. A song like ‘The Maker’ is such a heavy thing, in a funny way; the depth of it, and I really connected with it. I always played it in my acoustic sets; I turned a lot of people onto it actually.”

Drawing parallels between ‘Hey Summer’ and ‘You Can Always Go Home’ is almost unavoidable. Both songs centre on Todd being torn between his two homes – Vancouver, BC and Las Vegas, NV. “You’re absolutely correct. There’s a parallel within the entire realm of the record that way where there’s a real disconnect that goes on. There’s a NEIL DIAMOND song called ‘I Am I Said’ where he says the line, ‘L.A.’s fine but it ain’t home, New York’s home but it ain’t mine no more.’ It‘s funny, I never really paid attention to Neil Diamond in detail, then at some point I just sort of found him. There’s an overview of artists like that who you see in a sequined fancy shirt; you’re never quite sure. Then you realize there’s this depth underneath as a writer – wow! When I heard those lines, it really connected to where I was. When I first went to Vegas, I had that safety net of, if this doesn’t work, what the fuck do I care? I’ll just go back home. But at the same time you’re there and you yearn for what you know, you yearn for what’s common and comfortable for you. Yet you’re invigorated and on fire with the possibilities of what you could have. But you’re not really living in Vegas, and you’re not living in Vancouver, so you’re caught between two worlds; and that’s definitely a part of it. Once I joined Slash, even though I’d been in Vegas for quite a while at that point, I really saw how small the world can be in the funniest of ways. If I just sit in this chair for 16 hours, I’ll be in Australia. The fact that places like Melbourne or Sydney suddenly become familiar; you know where that coffee shop is and where that great record store is. There’s this weird feeling that the whole world is home. Regardless of where my television and bed are, which is essentially what a house is, home is so much of a bigger word. Not only is it between Vancouver and Vegas, it’s about being Canadian; which is a different country. Regardless of how similar our societies are – and how different as well – my friends always say, ‘All these Canadians coming down here look exactly like us.’ It’s like we’re aliens invading or something, but it is somewhat true. There’s a lot of us down there (in Vegas) who still hold onto that national pride. You go to someone’s house and they’ve got TROOPER cranked or APRIL WINE, and you kind of giggle to yourself ‘cause you hold onto that; the same way Irish and Italian people hold onto their heritage.”

‘Hideous’ is rather perplexing because the lyrics appear to be self-mockery, yet Todd has tons of adoring female fans the world over who would love to be with him. To hear “I am yellow teeth, I am greasy hair,” sounds ridiculous as these girls consider him the hottest thing since sliced bread. “Ha ha ha, I suppose a certain amount of that is true. There’s some study that said people see themselves as 5 to 20% more attractive than they actually are. Wow, who are these people? I always admire that person who was unattractive but carries themselves like, check me out! GENE SIMMONS (of KISS) always has the quote, ‘For some reason, I see myself as immensely more attractive than I actually am.’ And he carries himself as such. Then you see people who will never accept the fact that they’re attractive. No matter what available stream of interest in you, I’ve always held onto those moments where you don’t feel that great about yourself. It’s a very bizarre thing to write about. I sang that song once to a producer, and he wasn’t feeling it. He was like, ‘You can’t say to your audience, you make me feel hideous.’ I don’t really mean it that way. I’m not saying you, the person with the ear-buds in right now listening to this song - you make me feel bad about myself. It’s more like I’m trying to connect with the idea that we all feel that way sometimes. Even the most beautiful Angelina Jolie, pick your example. I’m sure there are days where she just goes, urgh. We all do and there’s some sort of comfort in knowing that somebody like that does. The song was somewhat inspired initially by when I was with someone who I thought was so amazing, that I was like, what the fuck is she doing with me? That feeling of I will never be able to compare or be on the same level as this person. Even though her very being there should have been enough for me to go, I guess I am worthy of her company or her time. It’s the most darkest of compliments saying, I just feel like a fucking troll standing next to you. It’s also taken from Quasimodo’s line from the old Hunchback black and white thing, ‘Look away, I’m hideous.’ These are the kind of things that just sit in my brain. I was that teenage nerd who was awkward and tall and gangly, you haven’t grown into your body yet. I had glasses and all that sort of stuff; you carry that person with you regardless of whatever you grow into being. I’m pretty comfortable with being able to say, I am yellow teeth and greasy hair.”

Then the song takes a turn towards the end with the lines: ‘Don’t wait around for Jesus, you’ll never find him here. Don’t wait around for answers, He sees but He doesn’t hear.’ “In the same way it was sort of like sternly looking for that support. The Jesus aspect was just more of an attachment to ‘don’t wait around for answers.’ Jesus just snuk his way in there somehow; I’m always fascinated being a non-religious person myself. I’m very open-minded about faith, but I’m always turned off by the person who has all the answers. That’s what’s really interesting to me about Judaism; there’s a constant conversation in between them, there’s questions and discussion. I don’t like the idea that this is how it is, and everybody else is wrong. That turns me off, even though I admire people of faith because I’ve got too many questions that will never be answered, at least concretely enough for me to invest myself into it. In the song ‘Hideous’, that’s sort of like seeking some anchor in the lost world of who am I?”

And there’s ‘Come Back To Bed’, which expresses a sentiment everyone can identify with. The alarm clock goes off and you begrudgingly drag your ass to work; yet the Maury Povich line is so funny. “I’m so glad. No matter what’s going on, I’ll wake up in the morning and I’ll turn on the TV, and it always goes to Maury Povich. I don’t seek it out at all. And it’s always the same show, it’s like Groundhog Day, it’s always paternity tests. When you’re a kid and you skip school in a small town, it’s too small to go anywhere ‘cause everybody knows you – ‘What are you doing? You should be at school.’ So you stay home and watch shitty daytime TV. Why the fuck did I skip school? All the chicks are over there. I’m sitting here watching fucking Maury Povich. ‘Come Back To Bed’ is essentially my own detachment from reality, hence my sort of cavalier mentioning of khakis and cubicles. I don’t really exist in that world. You can be a terrible influence on your better half – why do you have to go do that? What’s going to happen if you don’t show up at the office? Is the world going to catch on fire? No. You’ll be fine, stay home; look what’s on TV, Maury Povich. The idea of it being flying monkeys, all my Oz references throughout the song is more a case of… to me it’s riding a dragon through this fucking gauntlet of fists that is the highway to work. It all just sounds awful! Why do we have to go do that? When you live on the outside of regular society for so long, you take a look at the world and you ask; why is it like this? When did we decide this was a good idea, to send each other to these little rooms for eight hours a day? You start to ask these really stupid questions and people say, ‘Because that’s the way it is asshole.’ You don’t mean to insult them by saying my life is so much better. There’s times where I really believe… I have a lot of friends in regular life who wouldn’t trade places with me for a second ‘cause they wouldn’t be able to wrap their head around it. They think it’s all awesome and fascinating, but I don’t think they would ever really want to do it. They like that they have fucking bowling on Wednesday, and a BBQ on Sunday, and they get to watch Glee – or whatever the fuck it is. I think people need that kind of structure. And the rest of us… it’s not supposed to be for everybody.”



Being completely realistic, Todd admits “Borrowing Trouble is probably not going to sell a million records, but it will live on beyond me. Someone’s going to come up to me someday and say, this song meant something to me, and thank you. That to me is worth all of it. People have already written me and said – a friend of mine is using ‘It’s Always Been You’ at his wedding. I was like, really dude? He said, ‘I heard that song and it really connected with me and my fiancée; we’re going to use it at our wedding.’ Oh my god, ok. That’s the thing about music, you create it and plant that little seed, and it grows into something really unexpected usually.”

Todd is currently on tour with Slash across North America throughout July. After that, the idea of getting in a car and driving across Canada, west to east, on a solo tour has been floated about. “I’m sort of feeling it out. It’s one of those weird things where as far as I’ve come in the music industry, I’m not as connected to Canada as I was. I’m really kind of, maybe to a detriment to my career, ‘cause I always like doing something a little different than expected; like releasing an acoustic album rather than a hard rock record, which with Slash’s audience would have been the obvious thing to do. So the same thing happens here. Part of me wants to really fucking play really bizarre places and just do acoustic sets; drag along a troupe of friends and go do it. But I’m not entirely sure exactly how that would play out? My back quarter of the year is a little more free, although I have a feeling Slash will sink his hooks into us at some point. The funny thing about Slash is, there’s never really a goodbye, it’s very sort of dot dot dot. I’m not sure; part of me entertains the idea of taking a band and being able to do a full set of rock songs, and then having an acoustic set in the middle. Or perhaps just grabbing a guitar and making my way across. To be honest, that really was the entire spirit of this thing. The romantic idea of hopping on a train with your guitar case and hopping off in Medicine Hat, then Lethbridge; it’s still up in the air.”